Christmas 2017 menu!

 Christmas 2017 menu update!

After three years our very popular menu will see some changes. Some of our more popular ingredients have become impossible to source. This has forced us to make some menu changes. Fear not! We have studiously tested and retested the new menu and we feel confident you will be as pleased with the new menu as you were with the old. We also feel the old menu needed some updating, not that there was anything wrong with the classics!

Before I get into the new menu I’d once again like to apologize for not being able to serve Mr. Angry Man. For those who were not patronizing us that night, I will explain. After the unfortunate incident with the fresh monkey brains we decided any primate based meals would need thorough testing.

We sent a series of blood and tissue samples to a nearby laboratory.
The results were most disappointing. They showed that Mr. Angry Man was infected with a particularly nasty strain of syphilis, genital warts, herpes and several kinds of parasites. (We think this might of been what made Mr. Angry Man so angry.) Genetic testing showed his strain of syphilis was found only in the lower bowel of Lincoln Longwool sheep. As we understand it, after receiving this news Mrs Angry Man immediately stabbed Mr. Angry Man in the neck with a meat fork. Twenty seven times.

(We think Mr. Angry Man was the cause of Mrs. Angry Man’s anger.)

After a long period of time in biological isolation unit of the morgue Mr. Angry Man’s corpse was cremated. We were going to spread his ashes on the beach at Carkeek Park but while out on bond Mrs. Angry Man picked up his remains and dumped his ashes into a porta potty at a local construction site. Apparently unlawfully disposing of human remains has been added to her charges. She is no longer out on bail. While we here at Seattle Eats Home Restaurant can not condone violence, we do wish Mrs. Angry Man the very best of luck with her court proceedings.

Christmas 2017 extravaganza dinner at Seattle Eats Home Restaurant:

Starter:
Killer whale tartar.
We were very fortunate to be able to make a deal with a Vancouver Island native band. They used their traditional hunting rights along with a traditional canoe to hunt and kill a local killer whale.
We donated a significant sum to the band and to the hunters to get twenty pounds of prime killer whale meat. These majestic mammals grow up to twelve thousand pounds.  To ensure the exclusivity of this meal, after the hunters remove the choice twenty pounds of meat the hunters will poison the rest of carcass, then burn it.

Salad:
Pacific Northwest Spotted Owl, barbecued and served with hearts of romaine lettuce, diced avocado in a special (secret) dressing (made with endangered Pacific Rock Fish roe!).

Soup:
Spotted owl egg drop soup made with a clear spotted owl consume. We believe this is the last time this dish will be available as the supply seems to have dried up. It seems Futurama was wrong.
The second soup (or alternate) will be harbour seal fetus and goose barnacles chowder.

Entree:
A very special treat, we have what we believe is the very last Tasmanian Tiger from Australia.
We will strip the tenderloins, cut them into small steaks and serve them rare, pan fried in butter.
We also procured dolphin captured in Taiji cove, Japan. The dolphin will be sliced paper thin, prepared in lime juice and served with wasabi. The entrees will be served with local seasonal vegetables.

Desert:
In an un-named South American country a small critically endangered pika lives in the alpine meadows of a small range of mountains. These few remaining pika live almost exclusively on the equally rare small yellow strawberries. The pika forage for what yellow strawberries they can then hibernate until the next season. The pika are so desirous of the strawberries they often fight over the best feeding areas. We managed to contract with some locals to pick the entire seasons crop and ship them to us, packed in dry ice, by air mail. The yellow strawberries will arrive fresh just in time for our annual Christmas dinner. They will be served with white chocolate whipped cream mousse. Since we have picked the entire regions supply and they keep for only a few days, we will be giving our guests an extra desert that they can take home as well as (based on estimated yields) six – one pint jars of yellow strawberry preserves.
As a bonus each patron will get a custom made set of driving gloves made with the hide of the pikas.

We look forward to another exciting Christmas meal with you!

Advertisements

Lunch time opening

We are having a one time special Lunch Opening!

On Sunday, December 15 we are going to have a single seating for 12 people people. Lunch will be braised Angry Man dinner served with fresh green beans, the last of the fresh Pacific Northwest mushrooms, roasted potatoes and dessert will be a very special surprise.

Seating is $150 a person, wine is included. I would like everyone to know what Mrs Angry Man will be attending on the house, so everyone will have the ability to thank her for her husbands gastronomic sacrifice.

Seattle Eats new menu

Appetizer:
Braised Wolf Tenderloin tidbits in spicy peanut sauce.Sea Urchin Row with chilled Spaetzle  and fresh mozzarella and olive oil.

Salad:Fresh Rocket, Spinach, Basil, hard boiled eagle eggs and balsamic dressing.

Soup:Fresh mussel, tarragon and carrot soup in a cream base thickened with egg yolk.

Entree:
Vancouver Island Marmot stuffed with miniature Geoducks.
Roast Seminole potatoes.
Steak and kidney pie made fresh daily from runaways found in LA.
Fresh baby carrots. (Served with real minced baby)

Dessert:
Cherries jubilee made with fresh Bing Cherries, fine cherry brandy, our own icecream and topped with whipped cream made with fresh mothers milk.
Aperitifs.

Wine will be served with all courses.

This is the first time we have tried a web based menu. I hope everyone finds it to their liking.

As always there will be a pre-dinner tasting of new dishes for those who wish to arrive early and a variety of specialty grain breads made from grains hand picked and milled in the dessert region of Ethiopia.
No one will be admitted before 7:00 pm. Appetizers will start at 8:00 pm.

*No substitutions. Regretfully we cannot cater to specific diets. Our new policy since our grand re-opening is each patron must sign a waver of indemnity and full release before being seated.

This menu will be served for the next two months starting October 12, any changes and those with reservations will be notified.  Seating is limited to three tables of four and a table for two. As always the meal is $300 a person everything included and served on Saturday, Sunday and Monday nights, one seating a night.

I regret to say anyone who partook of last months tasting of live monkey brains should she a doctor as soon as possible. Please direct inquiries to CDC health officer, director of communicable infectious diseases, Dr. Relae Karen Nottabit.
We will truly miss Mr. and Mrs Kanyeesun, they were both truly fine people with a love for life and a zest to try new things. Speaking of zest, all patrons who did partake in last months tasting will each recieve a special get well goody bag, every bag will include a bakers dozen of my lemon cardamom cookies along with all your favorites that have made Seattle Eats a success. These will be made available just as soon as the CDC releases these unfortunate folks from the fourth floor special isolation unit. Good luck and we hope the pock marks and scars clear up.

Special Christmas eve menu and seatings

Our annual Christmas eve seating at Seattle Eats Home Restaurant is going to be December 24st, 2013.

We will seat the usual three tables of four diners and a table for two. Currently there are 8 seats left.
The cost is $300 per seat all included.

The menu is set, and as usual there are no substitutions.

Starter:
Eagle eggs pickled in tarragon and capers served with duckling tarts.
Blood pudding treats, a house specialty.
Spiced just fed leeches breaded and fried in butter. Always a favourite.

Salad:
Florida Manatee brains with hearts of palm and fresh Queen Anne Cherries.*
Sea Turtle with asparagus, fresh tarragon and ginger.

Soup:
South American Black Panther braised and served in clear consume.
Vancouver Island otter shredded with sweet spice, prawns and otter sweetbreads.

Entree:
Steak and Kidney pie made from LA runaways.
Tenderloin of the rare black South American Jaguar, rolled and stuffed with macerated mozzarella cheese.

Desert:
Strawberries and Whipped Cream made from human milk served with flour-less chocolate cake.
Donuts cooked in rendered manatee lard. This imparts a delicate sweet aftertaste without any greasy feeling.
*The Manatee brains will be short pickled and lemon cured. After the unfortunate incident with the monkey brains we have had to curtail past practices. We wish it was otherwise but the situation is completely out of our hands.
We also wish a speedy recovery for the remaining five clients currently in coma’s in the fourth floor isolation unit. The scars and pocks did clear up. We apologize for the unfortunate incident with the lemon cardamom cookies, there was simply no way we could know that cardamom had such a negative effect on those taking that particular drug. We are heartened to learn that the condition is temporary, will soon remedy itself and you will be able to leave the vicinity of the bathroom soon.